Dear Danalyn,

It has recently come to our attention that you gave the kitchen a good scrubbing yesterday.

Perhaps you can continue this cleaning trend by giving us a nice bath.

We’ve been sitting here quietly, patiently, in the corner of the bedroom...being COMPLETELY IGNORED!  Please wash us!  It’s not fair that you get to take a shower daily, but we sit here wallowing in your filth for a month and a half.  We’re tired of being used as a sleeping mat or playpen for those two ingrate cats.

Thank you much,
Your Laundry

 
PS: Also, please your mother-in-law to stop buying you new clothes...we’ll never get washed at this rate!